I realize it's been about a gazillion years since i posted last, but that does not by any means mean that nothing worth posting about has been happening!
These past few months have been a whirlwind! My schedule has been chaos and school is crazy and everything is just going by so fast! Everything about me is getting stretched and molded and to be honest, I'm not enjoying it too much! Of course I'm enjoying spending time with my friends and learning about the subjects I'm taking at school; but the stretching and growing part has been hard.
I got home from church tonight feeling flustered and a little uneasy and I didn't really know why! I had a fantastic day at the beach with my friend Lindsay and at our Life Group and then saw so many friends at church it was just a great day! So why was I feeling like this, one might ask.
Well I did ask. GOD! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS!? It has kind of been a reoccurring feeling throughout the past week or so. "Please reveal to me things i need to deal with or bring before you because I DONT KNOW" I prayed in desperation. (I hate feeling any way other than happy, so i'm always pretty eager to figure out problems and get rid of them) Finally I realized that every single day this week i've had a conversation with someone about spreading yourself too thin. EVERY SINGLE DAY!
and what am i doing...? i'm spreading myself too thin. I say yes to everything even when there really is no time on the clock to do these things and with so many commitments and so little time i'm really sucking at everything and doing nothing well. and because of this i'm tired and worn out and unmotivated and wanting to escape. Which puts me in my favorite place, dream land. I escape to my head planning adventures and places I have to go! It's really great, my ideal life. But that is not the plan God has for me and it's taking me out of the here and now that I need to deal with and learn from. There is SO MUCH I could be doing if i was present. and also, if i didn't already have 98349823 commitments.
and after all that I'm going to share the obscure lesson i learned from all this.
I need to sit still and listen to God with a ready heart and my mouth closed. With his gentle cues and gracious reminders, he guides us through day to day life. Had I been doing that EVERY DAY I would have realized all this forever ago and possibly avoided all the frustration.
God is good. Alllll the time.